Too much sake
by Pet Darkling
Summary: Ichigo has just returned from the Seireitei and Urahara has decieded that it is an occasion to celibrate but so many things can go wrong when he has had too much to drink too late at night. Yaoi.


Hey everyone, the inspiration for this story comes from one very late night at an Anime Con. The Shoen ai by moonlight panel to be exact…. And well I was an unsuspecting otaku and well I was introduced to Plushy Porn Theatre and I fell in love. So please be understanding. WARNINGS: this fiction does contain rape, crack fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Mario…. All of the characters and their likeness do not belong to me, for good reason. The plotline fallows one of Shoen ai by moonlight.

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"Cheers! To the return of Ichigo from the Soul Society in one piece, more or less," Kisuke Urahara shouted with a raise of his sake bottle. "Now drink up," and they did. However Kisuke was the one who had the most out of everyone. As the clock reached midnight Ichigo and his company decided to head home leaving Kisuke to finish off the sake by himself.

"See you later Hat'n Clogs," Ichigo said as they left.

"Alright kiddo, don't be late for training tomorrow."

"Sure, whatever."

It probably wasn't the best idea to leave Kisuke with the sake bottle all by himself. It has had a bad habit of drinking way too much and having a hangover that could last for days. However, Jinta and Ururu decided that their time could be better spent playing video games than doing anything else. They knew that it wouldn't be long before the shop owner would be passed out, so they didn't even bother to turn down the volume on their Mario game.

The sound of coins being collected filled Kisuke's ears along with the theme music. His vision began to blur and slowly he sank down against the wall. His hat covered his eyes and he began to drift into sleep.

The blackness of the inside of his eye lids slowly became a lighter shade of grey until they were white. He was able to hear that the Mario theme music was becoming clearer once again. The land around him was becoming more familiar the more he walked around. Around him were smiling flowers and mushrooms. Lines of gold coins lie in front of him, tempting him. _Should I?_ But thinking was pointless. It was as if some unknown force was pushing him to walk towards the coins. He turned around to see what was pushing him, but all that was behind him was a black wall- like object.

Relentlessly he began to walk toward the coins. Once he started to collect them it became addicting. _More, I need to get all of them. I can't leave any behind._ But the more he collected the less he could carry. _What happened to all my pocket space? I know I should have more than this._ He thought as he glanced down at his pockets.

He stopped walking, he was in complete shock. He grabbed his hat off of his head and began to bite the rim. His breathing quickened as it all became clear to him. "I'm chibi!!!" he screamed to the light blue, white fluffy clouded sky. _How did this happen? Why am I chibi? What am I doing here?_ There were so many questions but no one to answer them.

Suddenly, off in the distance Kisuke saw movement. But what was it? All the time he had been here all he had seen was smiling clouds and flowers and addicting gold coins. However, off in the distance there was something moving. He ran towards it in hopes that it would be someone helpful. Unfortunately, it was a pacing mushroom, a very angry looking mushroom. _Um, what the hell is this thing?_ He had stopped a few feet in front of the mushroom that looked like it was ready to attack. Kisuke pondered about how to get around the mushroom. There was no going back and every which way he went it went too. Then it hit him, _jump over it you idiot,_ and he did.

The mushroom went from looking angry to very confused, but Kisuke was on a roll. He just kept running and jumping over mushrooms. That was until he tripped and fell right into the boss's layer. Only a few inches away from his face were the very sharp teeth of the bomb dog. Luckily for Kisuke the dog was chained to a post and it wasn't gong to get any closer. Or at least so Kisuke thought. It was true until the dog pulled hard enough and broke the post he was chained to.

The smile on Kisuke's face vanished instantly and he went white. Bouncing around in front of him was something that could very well kill him. _Oh crap. This can't be good._ Kisuke jumped to his feet. Panicking, he turned from side to side looking for a place to hide. To his right was a marching army of angry mushrooms, behind him a wall of black, in front of him the loose bomb dog, leaving the field of flowers to his left as the only option. The flower bed looked harmless so he ran for it.

Luckily the bomb dog did not fallow him into the flower bed, but unfortunately the army of mushrooms did. As he moved further into the flower bed the mushrooms encircled him. _What did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening to me?_ He cried out inside. The look that the mushrooms had in their eyes made Kisuke panic even more than before. The mushrooms began to bear their teeth in wicked smiles. They moved closer and closer to the point that Kisuke was no longer able to run away from them.

They had him immobilized in the middle of the field. With the biggest grins they started to bite. Not looking for flesh, but for fabric. Within a matter of seconds his shirt was gone. Five little mushrooms were waddling away with his shirt in pieces. Kisuke didn't move, he could feel something rubbing his back, but it didn't feel like skin.

Two green leaves came up from behind him and started to caress his abs. Kisuke turned his head back slightly over his left shoulder and saw a giant red and green flower looming over him. Its large eerier smile made him begin to shake. The flowers leaves began to move away from his stomach and down into his pants. The flower then leaned in closer to him.

"I want my steeple inside you," it said in Kisuke's ear. "Let me inside you." (The steeple it was small green part of the flower at the base of its petals.)

"What the hell is this? This can not be real."

But it was too late for Kisuke to run; the mushrooms had already torn his pants to bits and the flower was making its move. Gently the flower moved its steeple into him and wrapped its leaves around his member and the flower began to pump. Kisuke began to quiver. He had a rush of mixed emotions. He wasn't sure if he should be enjoying the pleasure from the flower or if he should be concerned that a not- so- normal thing was happening to him. Kisuke let out a moan as he came into the flowers leaves.

"There is no denying that you like this. Yes! Keep Cuming."

"No, no. I can't be liking this. Kisuke, dumb ass, WAKE UP!" _This has to be a dream. I am being punished for drinking too much sake._ "Dude, wake up! You're being ass raped by a flower!"

But his efforts were useless the flower continued to have its way with him. No matter how much Kisuke yelled he stayed chibi with the flower looming over him. _This can't be happening to me, why is this happening to me?_ Kisuke broke out into a sweat as he let out another moan as more cum came into the flowers leaves. Kisuke lost all muscle control in his legs and fell to the ground.

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Back at the Urahara shop Tessai had just finished telling Jinta and Ururu that it was time to turn the game off. Since it had reached the early hours of the morning and training would begin in the later morning the two would need to be in perfect training condition. He had them power down the consol and T.V. and then sent them off to bed. As they walked past the back room Jinta stopped and laughed.

"It is always funny when he has had too much sake too late at night," Jinta said crossing his arms.

"True, but this time he is twitching in his sleep," Ururu said sounding concerned.

"Yeah, that might not be a good thing," Tessai said kneeling down next to Kisuke.

"Do you think we should wake him up?" Ururu asked kneeling down next to Kisuke as well and moved her had to poke him in the shoulder.

"No, let him sleep. He needs it."

The next morning when Kisuke woke up in the back room he canceled training on account that he needed to spend the day in the bath tub wide awake. And he had Tessai get rid of every bottle of sake.

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Authors notes: Ello again. This one is a step into a field I am not quiet used to yet. But if you like it let me know, if you don't let me know…. Or if you are just confused, it is okay. Wrote this out on request from Nejilovesyaoi, who s a friend of mine. Currently we are co-writing a Beach/ Naruto crossover so check it out it is under Nejilovesyaoi's site, so give it a read.


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